All for Love Coaching

I’ve been in a “helping” field for my entire adult life. On a resume it would be branded a “human services” field, but most people use the former wording when discussing it. “I became an XYZ because I wanted to help people!” “Oh you’re so noble for helping XYZ demographic!” Hearing either of these statements makes me feel kind of grody. And I never really knew why. Especially because when I tried to formulate my own career desires, it generally also boiled down to “help” someone do something. Then, on a recent call, one of my clients absolutely blew my mind. Casually discussing her own issues, she said “The dark side of help is control.” Once more for the people in the back: The dark side of help is control. Well… fuck. If you read my last post about leaving behavior analysis, that was kind of my whole deal. I went into a field that I believed would raise people up, and instead found it forcing them down into boxes. Instead of environmental modifications, accessibility options, or gene...

  Welcome to this 4-part (minimum) series where I delve into the definitions and practical applications of my values list!  My four top values in no particular order are: justice, peace, empathy, and people. How did I come to those four words in particular? I worked with my own coach! How do I feel about those words? Complicated as all hell!  One thing I've learned is that words don't actually have the meaning assigned by the dictionary - they have the weight of all of our lived experiences behind them. You probably won't define these words as values the same way I will, and that's fine! More than that, that's wonderful! We might share words, but not definitions, or have the exact same values but call them wildly different things. Isn't the human experience beautifully varied? Last (for now, and certainly not least) is: people. People as a value? Aren't people just... people? Yes. And no.  I define the value of "people" as: the innate worth of all ...

  Welcome to this 4-part (minimum) series where I delve into the definitions and practical applications of my values list!  My four top values in no particular order are: justice, peace, empathy, and people. How did I come to those four words in particular? I worked with my own coach! How do I feel about those words? Complicated as all hell!  One thing I've learned is that words don't actually have the meaning assigned by the dictionary - they have the weight of all of our lived experiences behind them. You probably won't define these words as values the same way I will, and that's fine! More than that, that's wonderful! We might share words, but not definitions, or have the exact same values but call them wildly different things. Isn't the human experience beautifully varied? The third value in our list is the oft-overused term, empathy. For me, empathy is simple: the capacity to understand and respect the emotions of others. That definition initially felt a li...

  Welcome to this 4-part (minimum) series where I delve into the definitions and practical applications of my values list!  My four top values in no particular order are: justice, peace, empathy, and people. How did I come to those four words in particular? I worked with my own coach! How do I feel about those words? Complicated as all hell!  One thing I've learned is that words don't actually have the meaning assigned by the dictionary - they have the weight of all of our lived experiences behind them. You probably won't define these words as values the same way I will, and that's fine! More than that, that's wonderful! We might share words, but not definitions, or have the exact same values but call them wildly different things. Isn't the human experience beautifully varied? Now for the second value of our list: peace. I define peace on a global and personal scale as: the spirit of nonviolence and avoidance of harm towards others and the self. Peace was a hard...

 Welcome to this 4-part (minimum) series where I delve into the definitions and practical applications of my values list!  My four top values in no particular order are: justice, peace, empathy, and people. How did I come to those four words in particular? I worked with my own coach! How do I feel about those words? Complicated as all hell!  One thing I've learned is that words don't actually have the meaning assigned by the dictionary - they have the weight of all of our lived experiences behind them. You probably won't define these words as values the same way I will, and that's fine! More than that, that's wonderful! We might share words, but not definitions, or have the exact same values but call them wildly different things. Isn't the human experience beautifully varied? Let's jump in to my first, probably most controversial (to me) word: justice. Ah, the judicial system! Judging people's actions! An eye for an eye! Absolutely not. My definition of ...