How Do You Build an Appealing FetLife Profile?

Ah, the age old question. How do I get total strangers invested in me as a person through a dick pic and some nominal information about my fetishes?

Well... you don't.

It's totally possible to meet people through Fetlife. I've had friendships and even business partnerships happen solely through the messages function. It's just unlikely. And the kind of people who bulk-message random accounts are probably not the kind of people you want to form a lasting relationship with.

If you are that kind of person? Please stop. 

The point I'm trying to make here is that in order to seduce people with your profile alone, you need a few basic pieces of information about yourself. You need a profile picture. In essence, you need to give the impression that there's actually a real person behind the screen.

If you want to go a step further and become a Fet-lebrity... well, we'll get to that.

What are the basic parts of a profile?

• Profile picture!
• This is probably the first bit of your profile that anyone's going to see, so it's got to make a good first impression! A missing profile picture indicates either that you're not a real person, or that you don't care enough to put an image out into the world. 
• It doesn't even need to be a picture of you - my personal profile pic is a cartoon, because my job is in a sensitive sector and I don't want my face out there! Just don't make it a misleading picture of someone else. Memes are encouraged.
• I've rarely seen a non-professional appealing-looking dick pic, so keep that in mind when choosing from your bevy of selfies. And maybe avoid what I call the "gearshift" angle, taken in your car at hip height pointed up. 
• About me!
• This is where the magic happens. Once your name and profile pic have lured someone into actually clicking on your profile, what do you think they'll find? Hopefully, something that makes them want to read further! 
• A lot of profiles have their information split into vanilla info and kinky info, but you can do it however you want, just as long as all the information is true and respectful. It's a good idea to start with listing your vanilla interests, then maybe a bit about your personality, then segue into the nasty stuff.
• You can take steps to obscure your identity, and I'll do a post later on personal information and safety, but don't out-and-out lie, especially if your goal is to use this like a dating profile. 
• Fetishes!
• The juicy section! People tend to take one of two tacks with this section - everything and anything that comes to mind, or just the specialty stuff. For example, I enjoy kissing, but I wouldn't put "kissing" as a fetish unless I literally had fantasies and whole kinks centered solely around kissing. 
• Or you can go down the "most popular" list and tick off everything that strikes your fancy! Go nuts. This might obscure the stuff that you're really into, though, so be warned that potential partners might not have time to pick through the information that you do occasionally enjoy oral.
• Other information!
• This is your relationships, your looking-for, all that jazz. Less is more, generally speaking, but if you tend towards the prolific, I'm not going to stop you. 
• I've seen profiles with fifteen different relationships listed, all with the same person, just different roles. It's definitely a look, but if you're looking for other partners, it might give a mistaken impression that that person is your whole world.
• Try to pick a selection of things that give a good impression of what you're on here for, but don't necessarily worry about broad appeal. If you put you're looking for a Master but you really want to top most of the time? That sets off false advertising red flags.

See? It's perfectly simple once you get the hang of it. 

Now, if you want to go one step further and receive lots of likes and comments and affirmation, you need something to put out besides a basic profile. There are two main ways to go about this.

Do you have a lot of thoughts in your head about kinky things? Become a prolific writer! 

This tack might be difficult if you struggle with putting your thoughts on paper, but lots of K&P writings are fairly short, 1-minute erotica reads, or thoughts on a recent munch, or even a treatise on a personal dynamic. The key is patience. You're not going to have a broad audience all at once, unless you have a million active Fet friends who enjoy liking all of your posts. Eventually some of them will start to filter, and you'll gain followers. 

Do you like taking photographs of yourself or your (consenting) partners engaging in kinky things? Put those up!

This is generally a much quicker path to broad appeal, a picture is worth a thousand words, yadda yadda. The only issue here is you need a varied spread of material, so you need to be engaging in kink and photography at the same time fairly frequently. Even more preferred is to have someone else take the pictures so that you can be in them, but that's another level of complication. Then you need to make sure your partners are all okay with their bodies or faces being public on Fet, and keep track continuously of that consent in the event of break-ups or fallings-out. 

In short, Fet is (deliberately) a hard platform to meet people on, but with some attention to detail you can at least put a good face forward. In the future I might do a longer using-Fet series, talking about groups, classifieds, and the do's and don'ts of using it as a dating site. For now though, I've taken more than enough of your attention.

Stay safe out there, lovelies.

Anneke <3