Moderation, or Lack Thereof

 Moderation is not my strong suit.

As a matter of fact, I don't know where my moderation suit is at the moment. I may have left it at the dry cleaners. 

I write this blog post during work hours, having stayed up until midnight brainstorming names and website layouts for coaching businesses. I spent an hour on the phone with a former coach earlier discussing marketing and genuine engagement, how to avoid sleaze, and the best and worst parts of working on the phone vs. working in person.

I haven't even taken my first class yet.

What is the root of this enthusiasm? What is the driving force behind my motivation to suddenly switch up everything about my life and career?

It's twofold. The carrot and the stick.

Firstly, the carrot. I love polyamory and I love kink. 

Talking about these topics is met with rabid curiosity from people who are not involved with either. Relationship paradigms outside the mainstream are much more common than we believe, but when we don't talk about them, they become these mysteriously shrouded taboo entities. I want to bring them into the light and discuss them with all the joy and sincere appreciation they deserve. 

Secondly, the stick. I hate my current job.

I love the kids I work with. The few hours a week I get to spend in homes and schools are precious. But everything else has gone from tolerably bad to hair-rippingly dull over the past few years. Combined with the ethical issues inherent in the field and the rampant misappropriation of behavioral techniques by so-called professionals, I'm just done. 

I am currently waiting on two schools to hear whether or not I got into their PsyD programs. My plan was to ride out my current job until I need to do a full-time practicum in my fifth year. At this point, however, I'm not sure I can truly make it another 4-5 years without making a drastic career change. 

Maybe this will flop. Maybe coaching will be a waste of time, money, and effort, and I'll be left with nothing to show for it at the end of my certification program. Somehow, though, I remain optimistic.

I love to help, and I love to educate. Hopefully this will give me a platform for both.

Future blog posts will be centered more around educational topics rather than personal reflection, but I wanted to capture the essence of this moment and the energy it gives me. I hope that this serves as a springboard for future conversation and a glimpse into my personal process. 

Be well in love,

Anneke