How Do You Take Ego Out Of Play?
(cross-posted on BoundBDSM) The title is vaguely misleading, honestly. Ego can be defined as self esteem or self-importance, and I definitely don't want you to discard those for whoever you're playing with! When I get questions about "ego," it's usually in phrases like "the male ego." In these contexts, I think ego is something different. I think ego is a Saboteur. In coaching, those negative voices in our head are called Saboteurs, or gremlins, or whatever you want to call them. The ego I'm talking about is the voice that says "should" or "shouldn't." Ego might sound like... You shouldn't want this - you're a stronger person than that! You shouldn't let them do that - how embarrassing would that be! You should be above all this and not guided by your desires. You should want to be kind, not cruel, to someone you like. You shouldn't, should, shouldn't... Good golly gosh, what an exhausting way to live. Be...